


It's Not About Cake This Time

by Kashika



Series: Texting [1]
Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Humor, M/M, Problems, Sass, Texting, minimal angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-07-27 13:52:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7620901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kashika/pseuds/Kashika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's two in the morning, Seungri is desperate and Jiyong is sassy until things get serious.</p><p>Because what do you mean the maknae needs ACTUAL advice?</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Not About Cake This Time

**Author's Note:**

> Just some finger exercise until I finish the BaeRi fic I'm actually writing right now. This ship definitely needs more fanfics.
> 
> Anyway, please enjoy!

**[Seungri]**

Jiyongie-hyuuuung

_1:53 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

What

_1:56 AM_

it's the middle of the goddamn night Seungri

_1:57 AM_

some people sleep

_1:57 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

don't pretend I know you're still up writing lyrics I saw the light in your room when I went to the bathroom five minutes ago

_1:58 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

ugh ok

_1:59 AM_

what do you need?

_1:59 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

I need advice

_2:00 AM_

it's really important

_2:00 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

what is it?

_2:01 AM_

You didn't set something on fire, did you?

_2:01 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

WHAT

_2:01 AM_

NO

_2:01 AM_

that was one time

_2:03 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

what did you do

_2:03 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

I didn't do anything why do you think I did something omg

_2:03 AM_

I'm not always the troublemaker you think I am

_2:04 AM_

seriously hyung

_2:04 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

whatever Riri

_2:05 AM_

you need to start telling me what you did though so I can actually help you

_2:06 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING

_2:06 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

alright

_2:07 AM_

then tell me what you didn't do

_2:07 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

why are you so mean to me

_2:07 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

why are you stalling

_2:08 AM_

did you set something on fire after all

_2:09 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

NO

_2:09 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

then what is it?

_2:10 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

uhm ok

_2:10 AM_

so you know Youngbae-hyung right

_2:11 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

you do realise we're in a group together and that I know him longer than you

_2:12 AM_

if I wouldn't know better I'd ask you if you've hit your head

_2:12 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

could you stop being so mean to me for like three secs and let me explain ok

_2:13 AM_

this is really hard

_2:13 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

wait you mean you're actually having problems and need advice?

_2:14 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

Y E S

_2:14 AM_

what do you think this is

_2:14 AM_

I didn't go text you at two in the morning just because I need a cake recipe

_2:15 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

actually

_2:15 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

OKAY nevermind that

_2:16 AM_

it's not about cake this time

_2:16 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

you're stalling again

_2:16 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

alright

_2:17 AM_

okay

_2:18 AM_

okay so

_2:18 AM_

uh

_2:19 AM_

I think I'm in love with Youngbae-hyung

_2:20 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

WHAT

_2:20 AM_

wait

_2:20 AM_

HA

_2:21 AM_

Tabi owes me $20

_2:21 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

what the hell

_2:22 AM_

this is serious could you not do this while I'm having a mental breakdown here

_2:22 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

what's there to have a mental breakdown about?

_2:23 AM_

you just tell him

_2:23 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

what

_2:23 AM_

no!!

_2:23 AM_

are you insane

_2:24 AM_

I can't do that

_2:24 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

why not?

_2:25 AM_

didn't you just say you like him

_2:25 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

I do

_2:25 AM_

I mean have you seen him

_2:25 AM_

his smile is made out of puppies and rainbows and actual sunshine

_2:26 AM_

and he's kind and funny and interesting and caring and even when he teases me he's always considerate that he's not overdoing it

_2:26 AM_

and he listens and pays attention and is super supportive

_2:27 AM_

and he's an amazing dancer and singer and just generally awesome in everything he does

_2:27 AM_

which should make me super envious but somehow it doesn't because he just deserves all the good shit okay and more

_2:28 AM_

and I also might really want to drink soju from his abs

_2:30 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

wow

_2:30 AM_

I'm surprised the abs part actually came in last place

_2:30 AM_

you must be really whipped

_2:31 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

hyung I'm so whipped it's not even funny anymore

_2:31 AM_

I want to wax poetic stuff about his face when I look at him 24/7 okay

_2:31 AM_

and hearing him laugh makes my entire day 200% better

_2:32 AM_

I want to listen to him sing forever

_2:32 AM_

or watch him dance forever

_2:32 AM_

or play piano

_2:33 AM_

or just exist

_2:33 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

woah

_2:33 AM_

you're really a lost case alright

_2:34 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

so what do I do how do I stop this

_2:34 AM_

how do I un-crush Youngbae-hyung??

_2:34 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

why would you want to un-crush Bae?

_2:35 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

are you serious

_2:35 AM_

he's literally the straightest straight guy to ever straight out there

_2:35 AM_

and religious af ok

_2:36 AM_

and drop-dead gorgeous

_2:36 AM_

he deserves some cute, pretty girlfriend who's nice and kind and who he can marry some day and have adorable little Taeyangs with

_2:36 AM_

not an annoying guy who's an idiot that pretends to be cool and funny when he's not and who didn't manage to have a single proper relationship in his life ever

_2:37 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

you can't seriously be thinking that maknae

_2:37 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

it's okay haha

_2:37 AM_

I mean it's nothing new anyway lol right??

_2:38 AM_

so can we please just move on to the point where you help me to get over Youngbae-hyung

_2:38 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

Lee Seunghyun you shut your damn mouth and listen to me now I will not tolerate this bullshit you're spewing

_2:38 AM_

I mean yes you can be pretty damn annoying and an idiot and be pretentious af about being all cool and funny and maybe you didn't manage a single proper relationship in you life ever

_2:39 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

no need to point it out twice

_2:39 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

let me finish

_2:39 AM_

or I will come over and make you listen

_2:39 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

please continue

_2:40 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

the thing is you're all of these things sometimes

_2:40 AM_

and sometimes I REALLY want to strangle you

_2:40 AM_

but you're also spontaneous and intelligent and handsome and interesting and adorable and really funny and you know how to interact with people

_2:41 AM_

there's a reason why everyone you meet from our fans to small kids to puppies to grouchy little old ladies all love you on sight

_2:41 AM_

and you're persisting and hardworking and you have so many different talents it's ridiculous

_2:41 AM_

and you're always so bright and cheerful and honestly Bigbang would be so so boring and dull without you

_2:42 AM_

and the only reason you haven't had any proper relationships so far was because none of these people were deserving you, not the other way around

_2:42 AM_

got it?

_2:42 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

got it

_2:44 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

yeah?

_2:44 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

yeah

_2:46 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

you're crying aren't you

_2:46 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

shut up hyung

_2:46 AM_

I'm not

_2:46 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

sure not

_2:47 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

I hate you

_2:47 AM_

but thank you

_2:47 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

of course

_2:47 AM_

also Ri you're a total dunderhead

_2:48 AM_

because Bae likes you, too

_2:48 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

wait

_2:48 AM_

what??

_2:49 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

Bae. Likes. You. Too.

_2:49 AM_

was that clearer?

_2:49 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

hyung don't give me hope

 _2:_ _50 AM_

I know he's straight

_2:50 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

Lee Seunghyun do you honestly think anyone can go through their formative years knowing me and turn out straight?

_2:50 AM_

you have so little faith in me

_2:51 AM_

I'm insulted

_2:51 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

okay just to get this right you want to tell me that Youngbae-hyung isn't straight as a pole and actually likes me, too?

_2:51 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

YES

_2:51 AM_

god

_2:52 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

how do you even know that?

_2:52 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

we're best friends who do you think he comes whining to about your sexy ass when you're wearing skinny jeans during dance practice again

_2:52 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

so that actually worked??

_2:53 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

fuck you yes it did

_2:53 AM_

you honestly need to stop doing that though

_2:53 AM_

the amount of times I had to cover up for him when he was getting a boner is seriously getting out of hand

_2:54 AM_

I'm running out of believable excuses for him to rush to the bathroom all of a sudden

_2:54 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

so those five times last Wednesday were actually not because he had a bad stomach ache?

_2:54 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

nope

_2:55 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

holy shit

_2:55 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

so please do me the favour and stop this mutual pining

_2:55 AM_

just get into his pants already and make sure to warn the rest of us beforehand so we can leave the dorm

_2:55 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

will do

_2:56 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

good

_2:56 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

thank you hyung

_2:56 AM_

honestly

_2:56 AM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

just do the dishes for the next two weeks and we're even

_2:57 AM_

 

**[Seungri]**

ugh, I hate you

_2:57 AM_

**[Jiyong]**

no you don't <3

_2:57 AM_


End file.
